The Mystery of Everything – a Lent course based around the film ‘The Theory of Everything’

Week 3: The complexity of relationships

It’s not easy to give reflections without having the film, ‘The Theory of Everything’, based on a book by Jane Hawking with her story of hers and Stephen’s life together, but for those of you who haven’t seen it or don’t have the opportunity to join with the Tuesday evening (7.30 pm) or Wednesday lunchtime (1.00 pm) groups – here are some thoughts for consideration and for conversation.

Lent is a time when we can deepen and broaden our faith. There is so much we can’t explain within our world. How do we come to terms with mystery and faith? We may find that there are more questions than answers.

This session looks at some issues around relationships, and how people work through things in their particular circumstances. It also touches on themes around assisted dying and once again the relationship between science and faith. In Jane Hawking’s book she describes herself as being in a state of despair, holding on sometimes for the sake of the children. She went into her marriage with Stephen ready to fight, but expecting him not to live beyond a few years. We pick the story up twenty years on and although he has become increasingly disabled, Stephen’s brilliance is still being recognised by the world, while Jane finds herself almost invisible in her role as carer.

The film clip this week begins with Jane taking up a friend’s suggestion that she join the church choir. She meets Jonathan and a relationship begins to develop between him and Jane, but also between him and Stephen and the children. He almost becomes part of the family and we see him trying to understand physics, almost impossible as the theories and ideas keep changing. He helps in practical ways with Stephen and also joins in family outings and playing with the children. We see hints of relationships developing and changing and Stephen, acutely aware of the complexity of it all.

The scene then switches to an intensive care unit where Stephen is in a critical situation and Jane is asked for permission to switch off the life-support machines. She refuses, saying that he has to be saved. This involves a tracheostomy which means that he will no longer be able to speak. Against the expectations of his doctors, Stephen recovers and a new phase of life begins for all involved.

Questions for reflection on a range of issues raised

• How do you react to the unconventional relationships that seem to be developing in this story?
• Is it possible for God to answer prayer in a way that seems to break traditional moral codes?
• Do you think that science can ever prove or disprove the existence of God?
• Jane is determined that Stephen’s life should continue. Given what you know about motor neurone disease, do you think you would have made the same decision?
• The doctors suggest that it would take a miracle for Stephen to recover from his collapsed state. Do you think it was a miracle?

The film, as well as our Christian understanding makes it clear that life is not always going to be easy, but also that we don’t have to live through it alone.

Reflect – either on your own or together with someone else on:

Matthew 11:28–30

Come to me, all who are weary and whose load is heavy; I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble hearted; and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to wear, my load is light.

Matthew 7:1–5

Do not judge, and you will not be judged, and whatever measure you deal out to others will be dealt to you. Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye with never a thought for the plank in your own? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye’, when all the time there is a plank in your own. You hypocrite! First take the plank out of your own eye and then you will be able to see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s.

Prayers

Lord, we ask for your help as we negotiate the difficulties and complexities of life:
for times when we feel overwhelmed,
for times when we face difficult decisions,
for times when we’re tempted to judge others
in complex situations we don’t fully understand.
help us to accept our own frailties and to reach out
for your strength.

Help us to see the possibilities in seemingly impossible situations.
help us to be people of compassion for the frailties of others,
and to help them towards the power of your love.

Amen

My dearest Lord,
be thou a bright flame before me,
be thou a guiding star above me,
be thou a smooth path beneath me,
be thou a kindly shepherd behind me,
today and evermore.

St Columba of Iona

You may use these reflections on your own or take the opportunity to share with one or two others. You will find yourself on a journey to somewhere you may not yet recognise.

With thanks to Hilary Brand ‘The Mystery of Everything’ and the CTBI Lent resource ‘Pilgrimage;